So this year is nearly over, can you believe it? If I had to sum up 2006 the recurring theme for me was TIME and my awareness of it.
The year began and I became very aware of the fact I would soon be on the ass end of my twenties, but what did I have to show for it? I had spent half my twenties in a relationship that was really starting to go nowhere, not really having the kind of fun a carefree young person should have. So my first decision was I needed to start making decisions. No more floating around like a piece of driftwood, just going with the flow. I needed to choose a direction for myself.
So when the opportunity came I moved back home, into the garden cottage. It was really strange being back home, but looking back it was the best thing, got to spend more time with my family. I also decided that I was long overdue for a holiday and started making plans. Booked my ticket and before I knew it, half the year had flown by and I was on a plane to the UK. I had just ended my relationship a few weeks earlier and I felt such a weight off my shoulders. I had a great time in London (I love that city) and the 3 weeks whizzed by. I had barely been home 2 days and my dad went into hospital for an op, we weren't too concerned as we had dealt with those complications before. But my dad was sick. He got sepsis, a lung infection, mrsa and was more ill than we could comprehend at the time. All we were told was to take things day by day. Life became very simple - go to work, visit dad, go back to work, go home, eat, bath, go visit dad, sleep, wash, rinse, repeat. Dad got better and I got to spend time with him talking about all sorts of things. He really hated being in hospital, he said that the days were so long and the nights were even longer. But it was a special time, that put a lot of things in perspective.
Boy, if I had to guess what this year had in store for me I would never in a million years have guessed that this is the year my father dies. Never ever ever. After my dad passed on, I thought that I just needed to get through the funeral and the worst would be over. I was wrong, it has only become more difficult to understand and comprehend. Each day I am reminded in so many ways about how sick my dad was and that he isn't coming back. It is difficult and everything is different now. But you just have to pick yourself up and keep going. My dad wanted a lot of good things for me, and I need to start creating that.
Looking back through the second half of this year almost everyone I knew had some sort of tragedy to deal with. Deaths, car accidents, suicide, break ups, divorce… It has really been a horrible time, the planets must be doing some crazy things in the sky. I think we have had quiet enough of 2006 thank you very much.
But the question is, where do I go from here? Everyone I talk to these days are feeling as though they are coming to a crossroads. All we seem to do is work, work, work and have don't make time for much else in our lives. This needs some serious review, we all seem to have lost touch with our dreams, the things that will bring us happiness. I have decided that 2007 is gonna be about taking ownership. This is my life and if I don't like something in it, then I need to create a life that I DO like. One that really reflects ME. Not a sitting on the fence year, not a biding my time year - next year I will use every second of my time to do and be and make and visualise and materialise everything that I want. Some people I know are contemplating travelling, I think if you want to go live somewhere else then you must go and give it 100%, but if you stay then you need to give here 100% too. I know that I won't be waiting for handouts or knights in shining armour. It will be up to me. And the magic is that I can create ANYTHING I like.
I survived this year and I am excited for a new year, with a fresh start. What about you?
